Alice

Hello Everyone,
So, how do you make the rest of your days count?  Alice may inspire you...
http://alicepyne.blogspot.com/
With gratitude for my happy life,
Carey

Scars

Hello Everyone,
The power of the internet is amazing.  What an obvious statement I know but through this blog I realize that not only do the ones I know and love - friends and family - visit and check up on me but that this medium also allows people far and wide also going through this experience to learn or feel or get a new perspective on the process of chemo, SCT and blessedly; remission.
The power of blogger let me see not the 'who' but the 'where' and the 'how' of those strangers searching for answers or a viewpoint on these subjects.
I know that this month alone I have had around 250 hits on my blog via google or the lymphoma forums or BING check out my blog. This past month I have had 85 blog views from the US ofA,  46 from Canada (yeah!), 28 from Ireland (auwchen-en-ee), 20 from the UK, 19 from France and a myriad more from other corners of the world such as Germany, Israel, the Ukraine, Australia, and Russia -- a fond hello and Be Well to you all!.
So, I am in awe of the gift that this blog has been to me; it is very cathartic but also the gift of maybe easing some one else's fears that I may bring..kind of a "look at me; I've done this, I've made it through so far (knock some serious wood here) and through the grace of...something...I am still going strong".
Where am I going with all of this?  Well, Blogger also clues me in on how people "searching" have found my blog.  For example, again I do not know your IP address or name but I do know that people end up here when they google my name, or the words "SCT & journey" together or, getting to my point - when they google "medianoscopy scars"...This last search has come up several times so I know there are more than a few people out there wondering about the lasting signs of this procedure.
I think somewhere close to the beginning of this blog I go through the whole medianoscopy process so I will not repeat it here suffice to say for those who are reading this entry along and do not want to page back that a medianoscopy is the surgical biopsy procedure where the surgeons enter at your collarbone and scope down under your chest wall to biopsy a mass in the upper lung section (not IN your lungs but in that area) in order to come up with clear results to determine Lymphoma and it's type (Hodgkins or Non). 
We go through a lot that scars us invisibly when we have cancer.  I carry scars that no one will ever see, they are inside me and have more to do with my emotional being than with my physical being; but this post is not about that - it is about the real permanent scar that we wear after this procedure.
Have Hope!  Those who are just now going through this procedure - look at my photo..do you see it?  The fine line across my neck?  It is not that bad, huh?  This is 2 and a 1/2 years out so it is as faded as it probably ever will be.  Yes, it's there but seriously, not that bad at all...I am almost proud of it!  Please do not worry - some of us carry these scars - I also still have my PICC line and pherisis scars but they too are subtle.  Others have larger port scars and still others the small distinctive tattoo's from radiation markings. And so?  We have been branded, yes but branded as SURVIVORS and, hallelujah to that!
Take care everyone,
Carey

Another 3 months...

Hi Everyone,
I had my latest 3 month check up on June 2nd.  Yes, I realize my 2 year anniversary was on April 16th so that is only 2 mos. but my timing with scheduling appt's has been a bit off so by missing a week here, a couple of days there I have pushed the overall schedule out and this technically was my two year appointment.  
Well, ...yeah me!  All is well.  No issues with any of the screening.  Seriously good news.
It was also a difficult appointment because I had to come to terms with some permanent effects that the chemo has had on me.  I knew of them a few months prior but having to verbalize them at this appointment also made them final and well, ouch, it hurt.  Please, this is nothing life threatening or really what anyone would call debilitating, just part of 'my new normal'... I will come to terms with.
Moving on... in a couple days time I will run another 5k.  This will be my third in nine months and I am really enjoying the feeling of completion.  
I am a very pathetic track star and will never, ever win any medals for speed but the fact that I am completing them and looking forward to more and maybe a 10k in the fall if I up the training...this is also part of my new normal that, thanks to doctors and chemo and science and love and support and some good luck; it has brought to mind a poem that I wrote after my first remission.    It was true then and true after my relapse and true now:

Cancer is so Limited!

It cannot take humour

It cannot devour light

It cannot grow on fear

It cannot diminish love

It cannot reduce my worth

It cannot become my obsession

It cannot make my decisions

It cannot remove my smile

It cannot hide my laugh lines

It cannot impede my soul

With gratitude,
Carey

2 years old today!!

Hello Everyone!
Oh my Gosh.  I am in some shock.  I just came in from taking Hayden and his cousin to the movies and there was a message on the phone.  It's from my mother in law who is away wishing me a happy re-birthday!.  I am shocked because I forgot!!!  Yes, a day I would rank up there as one of my top five most momentous days in my life and two years later on its anniversary - it did not enter my mind.
I guess it is a testament to how much life has returned to normal. 
But, I am grateful for the phone call.  Reminding me what today is, that 2 years ago today I began my life again.. it is hard to put into words.  That was a time of big battles.  I am talking David and Goliath.  Me (David if you will) vs. cancer.  Carey 2 - Cancer 0.  
And so, here is to another 365 days until my next anniversary.  I will try to be more conscious of the gift I received those two years now past.  It is the perfect perspective-maker.  
Take care everyone - happiness to all,
Carey

If you need a reason...

Hello Everyone!
Actually, is anyone out there?  It has been so long since I last posted I am doubtful that anyone still checks in...
But in case there is someone still taking a peak...first, I am fine, more than fine and will update more on that in the very near future because I am full of news and views...
However, on a more serious note - I ask that anyone out there reading this today, please light a candle to send hope and light to a fellow warrior in this cancer battle.  Kirsten --> here is her blog --> http://www.cancersmancer.blogspot.com/  <-- Kirsten is an amazing woman who has been fighting Hodgkin's lymphoma with all her strength for many years now.  She and I are about the same age and she is also a fellow Canadian.  She is someone whose attitude and personality I would aspire to - aspirational and inspirational in her battles against the beast.  She has hit a very large rock in her path through this all and her family has asked, via her blog, that we light a candle to send her some comfort.
I am rocked by this turn in her life and will get on top of my pseudo-pedestal once again to say Lymphoma is a beast and if you have the opportunity to read Kirsten's blog I hope she will inspire you to lend your support in some way to kill the beast because if you ever need a reason, she and her story would be one...- give blood, sign-up for the stem cell registry, light the night, walk for a week-end, or..light a candle and send some love to those who continue to fight.
Thank you everyone.
Carey
Update (Feb 8,11):  Yesterday, on Monday February 7th 2011, the world lost a fighter - Kirsten passed away.  Bless her and her family.

Here. I. Am.

Hello!

Time flies doesn’t it? I had not even started back to work last time that I updated this blog and here it is April 15th 2010. In 1 day it will be my one year anniversary from the day I received my stem cells back. I can still taste the lemon drops I sucked on as they pushed the vials back in to me. I vividly remember how high that they elevated the bed so I could lay prone as they injected my line. I still remember thinking. This. Is. It. The final step. I did not cry…but I wanted to. Other than a few precious memories I want to obliterate 2009 from my mind, my psyche, my soul. 2010. Ahhhhh, now this is a year with a happy ring to it for me. One year. A lot can change in one year and a lot can stay the same. I have changed and yet stayed the same.

I am stronger; mentally, emotionally. I am more grounded, more logical. I still have dreams but more fears as well. I temper this with my Gemini personality to imagine hard but maintain a solid reality. I have learned to be more okay about things that I cannot change, to ‘go with the flow’ a bit more if you will and be more aware of the blessings in my life as opposed to the experiences, persons, etc. my freewill cannot change. Seriously, who has the time to fester about things you have no control over? My focus is on the things in my life I do control. I focus on the fact that I hold the reins on what I want to put into a relationship and what I want to get out of it, on my work-life balance, on my evolution as a healthy person.

Spiritually, I have moved/shifted somewhat on my views or perhaps more accurately shifted on the strength of those convictions. I am not as faithful to my belief in karma. Bad things happen to good people and vice-versa. It is sad and unjust when that is the case but that is Life and for the most part the world seems to tip toward good things happening to good people. Also, 2009 positively reinforced my faith that THIS (the here, the now, the beginning and end of my days on earth) is not IT. I will not, can not, define what else that there is but I know there is something else because in those days when in my darkest heart I worried that 09 might be my last I knew that even if I left my loved ones, I could not, would not, ever truly leave them behind.

Physically, I am in a stronger place. The results might be hard and slow to notice but I have committed myself to a fitness regime that I have been faithful to since January and though to look at me the results are not dramatic; I am proud of what I have accomplished. Last year I could not walk more than a flight of stairs, my lungs were tiny restricted balloons, my core weak. Now I can run 5k on the treadmill faster then say, a lame camel, and am building stronger muscles and a stronger attitude.

And so, Here. I. Am. In the middle of a life that I never wanted interrupted in the first place. …and happy to be here!

With gratitude,
Carey

Back to Work, Back to LIFE...

Hello everyone,
Well, the big day is almost here - I go back to work tomorrow! At the grueling hour of 10AM no less!!!. :-) Well, I am going back on a modified schedule to ease me back so I really do start at 10AM on my first day. I will work 3 days my 1st and 2nd weeks back, then 4 days and finally a full work week, both at reduced hours, and then back to the real, real world of full-time, full-stop, full-out work weeks...just a few sweet days before Christmas break! Phew!
I am looking forward to regaining this part of myself.
So, some of you may have noticed a trend here of diminishing blog updates as I have gotten better. This will only continue. I may update in a few weeks just to tell of my re-integration back to work and then again most definitely in mid to late January to advise on my blood-work and scans...after that I am hoping that real honest to goodness life will be getting in my way of continuing this blog on a more than infrequent basis... Maybe I will update on my progress to get run-ready for the relay next October!!
To all of you who have followed me on this most incredible journey this year - thank you for the healing and faith that you have infused in me. I carry it with me each day - it warms me, it bolsters me, it makes me proud that so many have such intense human spirits.
As always, with the utmost gratitude to you all,
Carey

October Update

Hello Everyone,
It has been quite a month, appropriately one with many things to be thankful for.
I had my doctors appointment at Thanksgiving and my blood tests all came back normal and the external check of my nodes showed no abnormalities. I am still in remission and ready to move back into the real world.
Co-ordinating with my doctor and insurance company we have come up with a back to work plan that looks like my employers approve of. I will be returning to work the week of November 16th. It seems so long in the making but now with a set date...oh my gosh! The time will fly by now I know...only a few more weeks and I have to remember things like computer passwords, how to wear high heels, what a forecast looks like and why I care about the price of oil! A tad nerve racking but also much anticipated! Also, my doctor has already booked me for blood tests and the all important CT scan in January so I am confident that he shares my vision of diligent follow-ups.
Thanksgiving always means something to me. I am hokey that way. I really look around and count my blessings -this year even more than most. I was able to share the turkey day with wonderful family feeling so grateful to them and so many for their kindness and support these last nine months and look forward to what I really think will be a bright and happy future. I hope you all had a similar experience over that week-end.
Take care everyone!
Carey

Adrienne

Hello,
If anyone is reading my blog this morning, please take a brief moment to close your eyes and send a loving or thoughtful prayer out toward Nevada, to Alison and her family who have had to make a heartbreaking decision this morning. Alison, her blog is listed on the left of my page, is this amazing mom who is a member of an on-line support group that I am a part of. She is a consistent pillar of knowledge, fight, support and love for us all. Her daughter Adrienne has been fighting Hodgkins for over 12 years - yes, 12 years - and today they must take her off of her vent and let her pass. Her family and medical team have done everything possible for her. To whomever or whatever you may pray to or plead with, please ask to surround this family with love and comfort.
Carey

September Update

Hello Everyone,
It has been a while. I have found myself at the computer multiple times over this month but drawn a blank as to what to say or how to say it. Life is bordering on normalcy and that is a good thing.

My Health
My stamina is building and it is almost surprising to me when I am rendered with a sudden light headedness or instant lethargy. I take it in stride though and lie down and rest. Still, I am progressing and very happy with said progress. Only one issue seems to have crept up on me; it is a pins and needles feeling or numbness that I am experiencing quite frequently lately in my arms and legs. I think it may be a neuropathy issue brought on by the chemo which is quite normal apparently but I will speak to my doctor about it.

My Hair
My ongoing nemesis (it’s a girl thing, I guess). Well, my mom was right. My crown no longer looks like chemo-head; more like a really short cut - which in a way isn’t great, because it looks like I planned this look…ummmm - definitely not. True to form though it is growing rapidly so by this time next year I am looking forward to a nice ‘bob’.

Life
September has had some great highs and lows. Hayden has turned five and I am simultaneously so proud and yet wistful of the years that have past. I don’t know if I will ever be able to experience those baby years again. He started Senior Kindergarten this month and it was and is momentous, of course I teared up – I know of few moms who don’t!
My Nan passed away shortly after Hayden’s birthday and it has been a blow to our family. Up until a few weeks ago she was spry and chatty and still the same ol’ Nan to talk to. We will miss her and love her always.

Honoured and Inspired
Two very special people in my life have given me the greatest gift. Both have organized teams and are participating in two separate events to battle against cancer in my honour.
Phil Lamere has organized Team Carey as he has for the past several years and he and his team are running the Toronto Marathon Relay for Princess Margaret and his team is being sponsored by the equally generous and kind-hearted Richard Boire. Thank you, Thank you. The run is on October 18th and pledges are accepted via Phil Lamere for the team – there is not a web link for pledges but you can contact him or me if you would like to donate.
Another event very near and dear to my heart is the Light the Night Walk. It is held on multiple dates and occasions throughout the year and Sheryl Luckie has organized a team for the event on October 3rd; the team is called Carey’s Angels. Light the Night directly benefits The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and Sheryl is walking in Montreal for me and so many others. You can click right here on Light the Night to learn more and/or to offer a pledge on-line to Sheryl please click HERE to go directly to her pledge page. Thank you Sheryl and team, again I am so honoured.
These special people and their dedication have inspired me. I am setting a long-term goal. Next year I plan to run a leg in the Toronto Relay. I will train through the year with Pete, and I will constantly think of Sheryl and Phil as I do so. I have put this out there in to indelible cyber-space so I am truly committed (or committable depending on whom you talk to!).
A very fine fall to you all. Remember to cherish those you have around you - we are all lucky for those in our lives,

Carey

The Good Kind

Hello Everyone,
Today finds me well. I slept until 11am after not having a nap yesterday but it seems every two or three days now I forego a nap and then sleep in the next day - progress! My day-sleeps are also shorter, again progress!
As some of you may realize my current obsession is my hair, or lack of. Per my last post it is coming in again pretty well but it is horrifically grey. I have been trying to keep it 'natural' to see how it will look longer and 'salt and pepper' but I said to Pete the other day I am getting sick of looking like his mother. Not his actual mother mind you - she is young and blonde, but like I could be his mom! So, I may break down and dye it soon, we'll see.
So as you all can see my life is going pretty swell. I am recovering smoothly and steadily and count my lucky stars.

I would like to post on another subject that has bothered me, admittedly irrationally at times, since my first round with this cancer. It is what I call 'the Good Kind syndrome'. I bring this up now after all is said and done for me at least (knock wood), because a young man, 22 years old, who loved life, his girlfriend, his family, going to school at UofO...; he died on Sunday. He died from Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He was a good soul but that did not matter to Hodgkin's. His mom and family did everything that they could for him but that did not matter to Hodgkin's and he died. His name was Eric and I know his mom Kathy through a cancer support group. Bless him and bless his family - for them, there is no 'Good Kind' of cancer. For the others I have known who have passed, Shannon, Dave, Sarah, Anne-Marie, to name a small but meaningful handful, it was not the good kind.
Imagine if you will, a lottery where the odds are one in five that you will win!! Imagine that if you win once and enter again that your odds now go up to 5o/50!! That is Hodgkin's. About 15-20% do not make it, long-term. The odds change dramatically if you 'win it' again.
I write this now because there is the myth of the 'Good Kind'. It has been said that because of its treatableness there have been few significant advancements in treatment for the past 20 years or so. As though 1 in 5 is acceptable to the drug companies and researchers. I want every cancer to get to those kind of odds or better but in my Hodgkin's community there is a worry that progress for better results is being under-researched and underfunded in part because of its rarity as a cancer and in part because of this stigma of 'the Good Kind'.
I am not illogical, I understand that there are many other cancers where the outcome is far graver - but to me, and many other Hodgkin's survivors and the family of those who fought but had to succumb, calling Hodgkin's 'the good kind' almost lessens in others eyes what we have gone through, had to contemplate, the realities that we have had to face. It is cancer and what I am trying to say is that there is no 'Good Kind'. To be very, very ineloquent; it all sucks. Someday, may the odds improve.
Thank you everyone for your continued support.
Take care,
Carey

The Bet

Hi to Everyone!
Yes, the half a head that you see above is mine. This picture is from early June so at that time it had about 2 and a half months worth of growth on it. Now being late July, I have added approximately another 1/2 cm in length and it looks a bit more filled in at the front... I am nice and fuzzy and 'salt & pepper' in hue...
THE BET: My dear Mom is an optimistic soul and she seems to think that by Haydens Birthday, which is mid-September, that I will have as much hair on my head as her - ie. enough for 'a style'. I find this very doubtful but hey, what have I got to loose? Hmmmm...now that I think about it - there is no wager riding on this bet...I'll have to think of something to make it interesting...
I am writing far less frequently as my life consists of the standard 'day-to-day' interspersed with late mornings, afternoon naps, and various rest periods - medically/health-wise there aren't any major updates on me. Some wonderful personal highlights included Kel & Steve's wedding and a visit to the Lambie cousins and I thank Mom again for her support of me through these days so I could be there and she acted as Haydens primary caregiver so I could rest when needed.
I hope the summer is treating everyone well - even if it is a bit of a damp one - there are worse things than a little rain - remember that!! :-)
My best to all -
Carey

Bits & Pieces

Hello Everyone!
A couple of entries ago I mentioned that some, well let's call them ‘odd’, events/persons entered my life during the whole hospital in-patient process. You know; the bits and pieces of life that make it both exasperating and humorous in the same moments of time – these are a few of those particular events/persons that I would like to record for posterity - I hope you enjoy them as well…

B&P #1; GOLUM
Okay, this incident occurred the day I had my remaining hair shorn from my head. The nurse who did the job was amazing – I am not referring to her shearing expertise but more so as to how kind she was about the results…she made me feel pretty okay about ‘my look’ as I left my hospital room and went to the common room where my parents and hubby awaited me and my head (we go hand-in-hand per se)…
In the common room also sat a lady visiting her mom on the ward. She took in my new look and after my parents left and it was just me & my husband sitting there she proceeded to tell me her personal experience with chemo-inspired baldness. Now, I am paraphrasing but basically her tale was of her friend who went through chemo a little while back and that on the day she first saw her friend bald, ‘she cried and cried for her’ and felt so bad for her because her bald head reminded her family of that awful creature named Golum from the Lord of the Rings tales and they nicknamed her that!!!. So, there I sat, freshly cropped, thinking that I now too am a living, walking Golum and hoping my friends reactions were not to ‘cry and cry’. What a lady – open mouth, insert foot! After she finished her speech I literally sat with my mouth kind of gaping at her and made a quick headway back to my room, where after thinking about her audaciousness, had a good laugh.

B&P #2; ANNA
Ahhhh, dear, sweet Anna… I had a couple of roommates during my hospital stay prior to getting a private room and my favourite was Anna. Anna was not an oncology patient. The poor lady, bless her, actually had a heart failure incident that night before her very large 80th birthday party but there wasn’t space in the cardiology unit so she became my roomie. Little, sweet, 80 year old Anna spent half of her time looking out the window and rating the construction workers physiques and the other half trying to persuade me to break out of the hospital with her to hit some strip clubs down the way in St. Catherines. I kid you not. She was awesome.

B&P #3; CO-Ed
I made history at Henderson Hospital. A very special roommate of mine, and I, both deserve a placard or something equally notable, in our humble opinions…
It all started with a strange notice on the hospital walls. It read that the hospital had initiated a 6 week trial where they were implementing co-ed rooms for better occupancy and billing practices to the insurance companies…yadda, yadda, yadda…I do not remember all the itty-bitty details as it certainly was amusing but in no way related to me -so I thought. Ha-ha. Enter the Hospital Coordinator. A bouncy, cheerful, determined and word wise lady who told me of a young man who needed to get in to the hospital right away [Okay], and there were no rooms available [Uh-huh], and without a room his treatment would be delayed [Why are we telling ME all this?]…and I had an empty bed beside me so would I volunteer to be roomies???? [Ikes!] Sooooo, with that, what on earth could I say but yes??? (He was asked the same line of questions he told me…i.e., would you mind rooming with a girl???) Low and behold, a ½ day later my new roomie is a dude named Antony! Good guy…nice guy…but a guy!!! What the hospital only told us after the fact was that we were the FIRST and only two patients in the whole trial period to date to agree to this strange new world!! It was only for a couple of days and he really was a gentleman but I must say that sharing a room a là old university-roommate style but with the opposite sex was definitely a strange experience. Kudos to us for being so liberal!

B&P #4; A REALLY ODD (Bad) DAY
Okay, I laugh at this one a lot. It did not take me long to put it into perspective and enjoy the surreal-ness of this particular day, really it was not even a whole day, it was just a morning but, oh-my-gosh; WHAT a morning…
So I begin about 7am-ish. I am in the itty-bitty bathroom in my room, the one I am sharing with the dude. The hospital has this insane idea that a person AND an IV pole can fit comfortably into a 3X4 foot closet already occupied with a toilet and sink…laughable. Oh, and I must mention the bi-fold privacy door with no lock. You see, that is important because that was what was yanked open at full force at 7am by a hospital orderly with me in there – Ikes! She yelped, I yelped louder as both my privacy was invaded and an IV pole was slammed into my knee and from that day forward she learned to knock! Mortifying but a recoverable incident soon to blend into a forgettable day if not for the quick-on-that-incidents-heels moment when the other kindly orderly brings in my breakfast tray with a cheery ‘Good Morning, Sir!’. As a new Lady-Baldy, I was not amused.

We could end there. Sure. But this is ME. I am a magnet for the ridiculous at times. So, my next prize moment occurred about 10am. Antony was gone for the day for treatments and tests so it is just me in the room. This man walks into the room and asks me, ‘Do you need to go to the bathroom?’ Ummmm, huh? Well, this is the maintenance man and the reason he is asking is he has to remove my bathroom door but before he does, ‘do I need to go?’. Okay, this can’t be real I think. Ummm- why, dear man, do we have to take away my washroom door? Is there a shortage? Are we rotating them? Well, apparently they have to take the whole door away for the rest of the day to add little pull handles to them and…blah, blah, blah…I am too kerfuddled with the thought of not having a bathroom door to care about the details, so OFF it goes to bathroom-door-maintenance-world and I am left to contemplate which bathrooms in the unit have doors remaining should I need one…
Good enough for one weird day huh? There’s more! Of course there is more! My dad comes to visit and he is sitting at the end of my bed just before noon when he looks at me and says ‘An old man just went into your bathroom’. (You know, the one without a freaking door!). Now, just because it doesn’t have a door does not mean it is publicly accessible!!! You have to walk into my room and then into the washroom, which the old feller does. And sans-door, he proceeds to tinkle. OMG! He then shuffles out of my room back into the hall…with me never hearing a flush – ugh! Now bless his soul, this is a really old guy and we are sympathetic, so my Dad goes into the bathroom to make things as they should be but he quickly exits to tell me the old guy has tinkled EVERYwhere. Like the toilet wasn’t even a passing thought for aim. This bathroom has become a curse!! A vortex for the wacky I tell you! Some rapid depressions of the call button got the whole room sanitized efficiently and thoroughly thank goodness but, honestly!!!!
So, that is it. An amazingly odd 5 hours in the life of me on this strangely bad morning.

I hope you have enjoyed these random experiences of mine as I took a look back in time. I personally chuckle when I recall them…or at least smile wryly.
Speaking now in the present, I can tell you that I am feeling better as this time goes by and though still in need of many good sleep hours, I am regaining more energy and able to get out for some periods of time which definitely helps me feel back a part of the human race.
With humour, hope and my best to you all,
Carey

Good News!

Hello Everybody!

So, I called my Hematologist on Monday to get my CT results appt; they called back Tuesday morning and had an opening for 11:15am. This of course made me nervous...why were they getting me in so fast? But the results are super-positive!

Never have I been so happy as to be defined as 'unremarkable' but in the world of CT scans and lymph nodes this is a very, very good word!

Dr. Mcphaden stated that as far as CT findings would go this is about as positive a report that I could hope for and I should feel very comfortable with it. Basically all of my nodes have shrunk down to 'teeny-tiny' [note: teeny-tiny is not a medical definition :-) ]. In my paratracheal region (think along the throat) my largest node is 8mm which is well within the boundaries of normal (range is up to 1.2cm), all of my organs are completely normal in appearance, as is my lung and diaphram regions, my periaortic (upper chest where I had my 2nd biopsy in Dec.08) has a 'small residual node' of 1.2cm (and any nodes are considered normal in this area up to 1.5cm), so all is good - my Doc thinks that as this originally was a rather large mass in my chest the residual is just scar tissue, etc.

Happy, Happy - Joy, Joy. I am...relieved...and elated...to say the least.

My Doc is very agreeable about my position on monitoring in the future (I would like CT scans every now and then in addition to bloodwork and chest x-rays as my bloodwork pre-diagnosis showed nada while the scan proved growth). So, in 6 months time he will re-scan me for comparison and prior to that (yesterday, and again in 3 months) he will review bloodwork for any indicators. As of now, I am in remission.

Remission. It is a beautiful world. Ask anyone who has been told it and the loved ones who look forward to it. Remisssssssssion. Fan-bee-u-tee-ful-tastic!

So, my Doc scheduled another 3 months before re-assessment thus I see him again at the end of September; we will then again discuss my energy/lethargy progress, mental concentration, etc. and go from there. Until then I continue to regain energy in baby steps and now, without the worries of 'non-success of SCT' on my shoulders, I can breathe much easier.

I hope for you all that your spirit will feel as light as mine does today. Thank you for all of your blessings, good thoughts, support - it worked!!!

With gratitude,

Carey

Checking In...

Hello Everybody,
I had my scan on the 16th. Very uneventful. The wait was 3.5 hours due to emergency and hospital patient bumps...excruciating staring at the powder blue walls of the hospital as there was not a magazine to be found in the whole wing until they came by and distributed some about 20 min before my scan...they were new and had some good gossip in them-- Jon and Kate might separate!...but I digress...
The actual scan only took 5 minutes. I have to make an appt. next week with my doc to get the results - will post again when I have a date and time.
Other than that, not a lot going on in the household - I had a very low key birthday obviously...lots of cards and well wishes, thank you! Hayden is enjoying his summer - he is outside a lot more with walks with his Grandma to the pond to see the baby ducks and goslings and playing outside with Pete; chalking the driveway and playing mini-basketball. His daycare even had a day-trip to Bronte Park the other week that he really enjoyed.
Pete has 99.9% finished putting in a deck off of the kitchen (quite beautiful) and he put out the patio furniture including a nice lounge chair for me to get in to. I was out there a couple of days last week but it was soooo chilly I was cocooned in blankets and did not last long. The weather definitely seems to be getting nicer so I plan to enjoy some resting time out there in the weeks to come (with LOTS of sunscreen to protect my head of course!).
Take care everyone!
Carey